Tumbling into Surrender

https://vimeo.com/162171886 sand-4

Every journey comes with moments of joy and heartache. The struggle of knowing when to hold on and when to let go, when to sit down or when to stand, when to gather and when to give. Just as in nature, there is a rise and fall to the tide, a natural rhythm to the yin and yang. Acceptance, rather then resistance.

A couple of days ago the sunshine made an unexpected appearance, which as usual, beckoned me to the coastline. Seeing the ocean drenched in sunshine always adds heaping spoonfuls of cheer and enlightenment to my soul. We went to one of my favorite beaches in Acadia called, Sand Beach. I love going to this beach at low tide, the water as it rushes out to sea pushes abstract designs through the sand. Listening to the ocean waves in the background and feeling the sand underfoot is a magic elixir.

We were the only ones enjoying this beautiful seascape, when suddenly from the corner of my eye, I saw a man with his two small sons bounding towards the beach. The little boys were so full of wonder and fascination, while their father quietly stood staring into the distance. I understand this stare, this gaze into forever. Seeing him reminded me of all the times I have questioned and pondered my own feelings. Releasing myself into the moment of all that is, was and will be. I have come to this place many times before, the place where I once again must tumble into surrender. sand-2

We come to many crossroads in life, some subtle, others redefining. A constant state of flux, of building up and taring down and building back up again.  I breathe in and I breathe out. I rise up, I fall down,  up and down and... It is neither good nor bad, but simply part of the journey, part of the human experience. There is actually a very beautiful rhythm to it all. Just like the natural rhythm found in the waves, they roll in and they roll out, like a metronome keeping perfect time with my heartbeat.

I used to think that unless I was experiencing the emotions of joy and happiness, I was being less then, or failing in some way. Emotions are fickle, just like sometimes I cry when I'm happy and I feel cleansed when I'm sad and fear in joy. I am learning to rely less on my actual emotions and more on "what I know for sure" statements. Every morning I set my intentions for the day in a quiet space that I have carved out for myself. It is here that I gather the clarity and calm that allows my heart to open wide. Stretching my soul in a spiritual calisthenics that gently coaxes and leads me into a deeper place of trust. This unfurling detangles the strings of my emotions. For in this moment, with the sea before me, I see can forever. sand-3